Gosh, I loved journalling as a kid. Every thought, every emotion (and I admit, every bit of teenage angst!) became so much clearer to me as I unleashed it all onto the page.

But somewhere along the way, life got busy. I stopped the practice of reconnecting with myself through writing. I believed I’d outgrown it, or it didn’t matter anymore, or it was ‘baby stuff’.

It was only in early sobriety, when I felt like my entire world was ending, that I began to recognise the value in it once again. As I took a deep breath and picked up the pen again for the first time, I felt a deep, familiar sense of clarity and connection. It felt like coming home.

Journalling in early sobriety helped me to reconnect with my body, explore subconscious beliefs, and recognise my not-so-crash-hot patterns of behaviour. It helped me to better understand my emotions and make sense of the monumental changes that were happening inside and all around me.

In other words, I discovered that journalling is an exceptionally effective tool to support sobriety and keep us on track. Throughout my journey, this simple process has helped me a myriad of ways. It truly has the power to deliver deep, life-changing breakthroughs if you let it, so don’t hold back!

Need more convincing? Here are five powerful ways journalling can help:

1. Increases Self-Awareness and Supports Communication

Journalling allows you to explore your deepest thoughts, feelings, and explore long-held beliefs. Exploring it all on the page can help you become more aware of your biggest triggers, recognise frequent patterns, and spot signs of self-sabotage – so you can break them, for good!

Journalling not only helps you to communicate with yourself – it can also help you to communicate with others about your journey and experiences with sobriety. It provides the perfect place to write out some scripts and role-play, practicing what to say to people, especially in situations where you’re nervous about other people’s reactions. Here’s to expressing your needs and feelings more effectively!

2. Encourages Reflection and Provides an Outlet for Emotions

Writing can be an incredibly cathartic experience and provide a safe space to process and express emotions. Getting it all out of your head and onto the page can help to reduce stress and anxiety: two potential triggers that can cause intense cravings for a quick fix (in the form of a drink!).

Journalling also allows you to reflect on your journey every step of the way, and gain deep insights into your thoughts and behaviours. This very process can help you make positive changes and learn from past mistakes, as well as get crystal clear on your biggest values and driving beliefs. It can also strengthen your connection to your intuition: that soft, wise voice within that always wants what’s best for you.

3. Promotes Accountability and Helps Set Goals

Journalling can help you track your progress and hold yourself accountable for your actions and decisions related to sobriety. It’s a game-changing tool for self-coaching and spurring yourself on. Think of it like your own personal coach and cheerleader rolled into one!

Writing down your goals for sobriety can also help you clarify what you want to achieve, and create a plan to get there. And not just that! Journalling can help you create a whole new set of scrumptious goals for your life (now that you won’t have hangovers holding you back)!

4. Strengthens Coping Skills and Helps Manage Cravings

Journalling can help you develop healthy coping strategies to deal with difficult emotions or situations without resorting to the bottle. Each time you write down a strategy that works for you, you strengthen your ability to weather all of life’s ups and downs. This is a masterful skill that will serve you for the rest of your life!

Writing about your cravings, in particular, can help you identify triggers as they arise and develop savvy strategies to cope with them. Better yet, it can help you recognise what it is you’re truly craving: whether that’s affection, connection or a little more fun (because it’s rarely the alcohol itself we crave – it’s usually because we want to feel a certain way!).

5. Improves Self-Esteem and Provides a Collection of Evidence

Writing about your achievements and progress can boost your self-esteem and reinforce your commitment to sobriety. Keeping a journal provides you with a tangible record of your progress – a hand-written witness to every step of your glorious growth and evolution.

This log of evidence can serve as a source of incredible inspiration during challenging times and remind you that you’re capable of so much more than you ever believed possible. Why, hello, unshakeable confidence!

So many of our brave-hearted Sexy Sobriety Members report that even the process of reading back through your journal pages can blow your mind with how much we grow and change in such a short amount of time in sobriety. Baby steps, quantum leaps.

But don’t just take my word for it. Try it for yourself!

A fun, easy way to get started is by journalling all the things you’re grateful for, or your happiest moment from each day (helping you to look for the silver linings even on the stormiest of days!). Or check out these 2 epic journal prompts for early sobriety.

Ready to go deeper?

RSVP Sober: Your Guided Journal for Socialising Alcohol-Free, is the ultimate companion for brave-hearted souls who want to have more fun socialising sober. This beautifully crafted 180+ page journal offers a refreshing, positive perspective on sober life, empowering you to embrace a new way of socialising that is both fun and fulfilling (it’s totally possible, I promise!).

Whether you’re in recovery, sober-curious, or simply looking for a new way to approach socialising, get ready to rip up the dance floor without the hangovers, regrets, or embarrassment (hurray!). Through engaging prompts, inspiring quotes, and thought-provoking exercises, RSVP Sober encourages you to dig deep and discover your unique strengths, passions, and purpose, empowering you to live your best social life.

A beautiful soul in our Sexy Sobriety program once shared her experience with flashbacks and regrets, and the rollercoaster of emotions that often show up unannounced when we first stop drinking. ⁠

“And I was wondering…” she said.  “Was writing your book therapeutic for you?”

“Oh my goodness, YES!” I laughed as I thought about the pages and pages I wrote and later edited from the final copy.  How I’d often been unable to stop writing once I started, tapping away at the keys for hours on end as my heart attempted to make sense of the past.

The more I wrote, the more I wondered how long it had all been bubbling away under the surface – impacting my decisions and behaviour without me even being aware of it.⁠

Every time I sit down at my desk to write, I feel that same cathartic release; that same sense of healing as I transfer it all to the page.⁠

When we write, we get to the part of the mind we can’t reach simply by verbalising or staying stuck in our own heads. We see it all laid bare before us. ⁠

We get to the truth. ⁠

Writing can be a powerful tool for reconnecting with ourselves, and liberating ourselves from former patterns. It can clear a path so we can move forward unencumbered by ghosts of the past. ⁠

Unlike the journalling we may have done as angst-ridden teenagers, this is journalling with intention. Intention to connect, resolve, and heal. ⁠

This is writing to set ourselves free.⁠

So how do we get started with this type of deeply powerful writing practice? Here are 2 powerful journal prompts for early sobriety:

1. I’m so proud of myself today for…

When I first stopped drinking, I had a vague concept of what self-esteem was. I mean, I knew I didn’t have enough of it. But I had no idea how, or where, to get more.

I remember the first time I read, ‘self-esteem comes from doing esteemable acts’. With that one sentence and concept, the penny started to drop.

When I was drinking, I was often ashamed of myself and my actions. I didn’t have a lot of experience with being proud of myself. Was it any wonder then, that I looked to others for validation or approval?

Sobriety, of course, was the first building block. Once I managed to get that huge (stubborn!) piece into place, I realised I could continue to build upon it, focusing on anything my heart wanted to.

I’ve thought about this a lot over the last few years. On days when the emotions feel overwhelming, or I just can’t seem to push through to productivity, I break it down to its simplest form.

What could I do to feel proud of myself today? What’s one small action that would make me feel good about myself?

Sometimes it’s a larger task, but often it’s as simple as making my bed, running a long-overdue errand, or eating a piece of fruit instead of more chocolate.⁠

It’s completely understandable to feel stressed and strange in this bizarre new post-pandemic world we find ourselves in – and ohhhh, how The Beast (or the Wine Witch!) loves to move in when we’re at our most vulnerable.

This simple question/strategy helps me to remember that we’re doing so much more every day than we give ourselves credit for.

It helps to shake me out of a fear spiral or overwhelmed funk, and inspire me into action.

It helps me feel like I have some sort of control over my life and destiny, in a world of uncertainty.

And most of all, it helps to remind me that we are all completely empowered. That we can continue to lift these tiny building blocks that stack up to feeling good about ourselves.

Today, what’s one small action you took (or could take) that made you feel good about yourself? What’s one thing you’re proud of?

2. Because I was sober today, I…

One of our gorgeous Sexy Sobriety Members came up with this journal prompt and I instantly fell in love with it. Not only is it a beautiful twist on the regular Gratitude Journal, but it also helps to reinforce new (healthier!) patterns of behaviour.

Use it as a journal prompt, or as an affirmation as you go about your day. Either way, it’ll remind you of all the magical things that sobriety allows you to do and experience in this life. It’ll provide you with a documented case of evidence of exactly how much sobriety benefits you.

I love to use it on the weekends, especially on those mornings I would have otherwise been hungover.

For example: because I was sober today, I watched an incredible sunrise, went for a long walk with my love in the dog park (helloooo puppies!), had the energy and wherewithal to help other people, wrote another chapter of my next book (heck YES, word count!), and laughed with a friend over a smoothie.

And most of all, felt completely relaxed and at home in my own skin.

How about you?

Journalling is a powerful healing tool, allowing us to tune in to our inner guidance.

It’s not just the journaling itself that’s so potent; it’s also the going back and reading previous entries, witnessing the growth, celebrating the evolution, and being so very grateful for the entire journey with all its twists and turns, and deep lessons (even the hard, messy ones!).

The truth is, it can be so easy to be hard on ourselves and berate ourselves for not being further along on our journey – and it can be so easy to forget the goalposts and milestones we’ve already achieved. Journalling will provide you with a book of evidence, showing you just how much you’re growing and changing every day.

Whether you write Morning Pages, a gratitude journal, poetry, your life story, or your big, beautiful intentions, notice how your journalling practice begins to change you – in the most magical of ways.

Ready to go deeper?

RSVP Sober: Your Guided Journal for Socialising Alcohol-Free, is the ultimate journal and companion for brave-hearted souls who want to have more fun socialising sober. This beautifully crafted 180+ page journal offers a refreshing, positive perspective on sober life, empowering you to embrace a new way of socialising that is both fun and fulfilling (it’s totally possible, I promise!).

Whether you’re in recovery, sober-curious, or simply looking for a new way to approach socialising, get ready to rip up the dance floor without the hangovers, regrets, or embarrassment (hurray!). Through engaging prompts, inspiring quotes, and thought-provoking exercises, RSVP Sober encourages you to dig deep and discover your unique strengths, passions, and purpose, empowering you to live your best social life.

Scared to even mention you’re sober?

I feel you. If you’ve recently cut down or quit drinking alcohol, you know just how excruciating it can be to have those tricky conversations with people who’ve always known you with a drink in your hand.

You know the ones. There’s the:

“You’re not drinking? Seriously?!”
“For how long?”
“Woah, how bad were you?!”
“Did you have a problem?”
“You can just have one, can’t you?”

There’s the worry about judgment, the peer pressure to sidestep, not to mention how to find the courage to bring up the topic in the first place!

Ooof! I know. As if our personal, internal journey wasn’t enough to cope with!

Funnily enough, I experienced exactly this scenario during my travels a few years ago. It was the first time I’d come up against it in a long while, and it moved me so much, I wanted to share with you my favourite things to remember if you ever find yourself in this situation.

Introducing…

The Sober Conversations Masterclass

I’m so excited to share this with you!

Over six big modules, this Masterclass is designed to help you feel confident and empowered as you share your decision to stop drinking.

Get ready for mindset shifts, practical tips, and real-world examples to help you communicate your intentions and boundaries with grace and gumption, and navigate social situations like a sober badass!

Best of all?  It’s my free gift to you!

Pre-order your copy of the RSVP Sober Journal and receive this Masterclass completely free!

RSVP Sober: Your Guided Journal for Socialising Alcohol-Free is coming this World Book Day, 23 April 23.

Click here to take a sneak peek inside (there’s even a video!), read the first chapter free, and pre-order your copy.

Then come join me inside the Sober Conversations Masterclass, and let’s rock the art of talking about your sobriety!  I can’t wait to dive into this topic with you.

PS. Here’s how to claim your bonus gift:

Step 1: Head to the RSVP Sober Journal book page to pre-order your copy.

Step 2: Enter your details (including your order #) on that page, to receive free access to the Sober Conversations Masterclass.

Step 3: Enjoy!

Oh my goodness, it’s holy guacamole time again, because I have BIG NEWS!⁠

 Each week, beautiful souls write to ask me, “Bex, what advice do you have for people who might be afraid to go to a party sober?”⁠

And each time, my mind immediately flashes back to when I first decided to embark on my sobriety experiment. ⁠

I desperately wanted to be free of the binge drinking trap. To feel playful, with confidence that was authentically ME – not poured from a bottle. ⁠

But I was terrified. I had no idea how to navigate social events without a drink in my hand. Not to mention the fact that I honestly believed sobriety meant never having fun ever again.⁠⁠

*cue dramatic music* Da-da-daaaaaa…..⁠

If you’ve read A Happier Hour you know that in my previous life, I was the ultimate party girl. ⁠

⁠

And that in my first week of sobriety I went to not only a Hen’s Party, but also a wedding! Hosted at a cocktail bar!

I’ve done a ton of socialising sober since then. Sober networking events, 9-hour-long weddings, and milestone birthday parties. Sober athletic group activities, creativity classes, and retro-inspired fun.⁠

And for the longest time I’ve dreamt of putting everything I’ve learnt – every single coaching question and mantra that has helped me – into a guided journal for you.⁠

⁠

And now, it’s finally HERE!  Introducing…

RSVP Sober: Your Guided Journal for Socialising Alcohol-Free

Years in the making, I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am about this guided journal. Each page is filled with deep, powerful questions designed to inspire change, and help you feel safe as you explore a whole new way of being in the world.⁠

RSVP Sober also includes my all-time favourite tips for preparing for events, including magical mindset shifts, mantras that can move mountains, and entirely practical strategies you can apply immediately.⁠

It’s a passion project brought to life, and I cannot wait to share it with you.

⁠

RSVP Sober: Your Guided Journal for Socialising Sober is coming 23 April 2023!

⁠

Pre-orders are now open. Click here to take a sneak peek inside, read the first chapter free, and order your copy!

I’m so excited to share this with you!

With love,

Today, 22nd March 2023, I celebrate nine whole years alcohol-free, which still seems all kinds of mind-blowingly incredible to me.

I certainly never set out to quit drinking for good when I embarked on this experiment all those years ago. I sure as hell wasn’t ready to stop drinking forever.

But I was oh-so-desperately ready to try something different. My old, broken record just wasn’t working anymore. As much as I tried to cling to the belief that booze made me happy, deep down I knew it wasn’t true.

Something had to give.

Embracing sobriety is never easy. It takes courage, strength, and tenacity. It’s a bold act of rebellion in a society that celebrates alcohol; a commitment to growth and evolution, and all the incredible magic and beauty wrapped up with that.

In other words, it’s a long and bumpy ride; both terrifying and exhilarating in equal measures!

It’s also by far one of the most rewarding and life-changing things I’ve ever done.

So on this day of soberversary celebration, what words of wisdom can I offer you as you embark on (or contemplate) the same journey?

If I could go back in time, there are 3 things I’d tell myself before I stopped drinking:

1. This marks a beginning (even if it feels like the end).

It’s sometimes hard to fathom just how different life is now. Nine years ago, I felt utterly lost, beyond broken, and just so freakin’ exhausted by the sick cycle I couldn’t seem to claw my way out of.  I was terrified – of socialising sober, of never having fun (ever again!), but most of all, of myself.

I didn’t know if sobriety was the answer. All I knew was that my heart was broken, and I was the one breaking it, over and over again.

I was scared of what would happen if I stopped drinking, but I was more scared of what would happen if I didn’t.

So I made a promise. I’d embark on 100 days of sobriety – no drinking, no matter what – just to see what happened.

I knew this experiment would challenge me beyond belief; what I didn’t know is that it had the power to change everything. That I’d finally figure out who I really am, what makes me tick, and what lights me up. That I’d experience the kind of authentic confidence that comes from keeping promises and being able to rely on and trust myself.

And best of all, that I’d experience true clarity around the type of life that fills me with joy — and have no hesitations in going after it.

It’s filled my heart to bursting to realise dreams I never thought I’d achieve – embracing deeper intimacy in my relationships, creating Sexy Sobriety and welcoming and supporting thousands of members from around the world; writing and publishing three real live books!; a ton of speaking opportunities, podcast, video and editorial interviews (heck, even a television story!) sharing the message of wellness and empowerment.

I’ve socialised and vacationed alcohol-free; climbed mountains, cycled through valleys, expanded my creativity, and explored new healing modalities.

But what’s changed most is my very soul. I’ve never felt more clear, balanced, confident, peaceful, joyful, or at home in my own skin.

And I just want to reach back and hug that terrified, lost soul from nine years ago and tell her it’s all going to be okay. That she isn’t broken.

And that far from being the ending she thinks it is, this is actually just the beginning.

2. Your authentic self is beautifully imperfect, just as you are.

As my soberversary approaches each year, it always gets me thinking about where my love affair with alcohol first began.

A little while back, I watched ‘The Carrie Diaries’ (I know, I know, you guys, but it was a tough year, ok? ????).

Now, logically, I know this show is fiction and that every word that comes out of a teenage character’s mouth is written by grown-ass adults, and therefore wise beyond a normal sixteen-year-old’s years – but still…

It got me thinking about the most confident kids in my high school and how relaxed they’d always seemed around new people. How they had zero problem speaking their mind or being completely themselves, in any situation (without the assistance of alcohol).

God, how I wanted that.

That was precisely the thing that made alcohol so seductive to me in the first place – it’s perceived ability to magically transport me from my shy, insecure and goofy self to the confident, outgoing social butterfly I’d always longed to be. It was the reason I romanticised and glamorised it. That was the thing underneath it all.

It wasn’t that I loved alcohol so much – it was that I didn’t feel confident without it, whether I was sixteen or thirty-six. The over-drinking was merely a symptom of the real problem. The problem was that I didn’t know how to be in the world as myself.

For me, this is the deep work and biggest gift of sobriety: accepting and embracing our true selves, and building a new life that supports who we truly are. A life we don’t want to escape from.

The past two years have been hard on all of us, for a ton of different reasons, so wherever you’re at in your journey (whether that’s nine months, or nine hours), I just wanted to let you know: I see you. I believe in you.

And that you are beautifully imperfect and amazing and flawed and unique and goofy and loved, just the way you are.

3. We don’t know what we’re truly capable of until we try.  

Deep, unshakeable confidence comes from taking action. It comes from trying, and failing, and trying again.

You don’t have to have the entire journey mapped out. You only have to take that very next step, and then the next one, and so on.

My initial 100 days of sobriety experiment became 180 days, which became one year, then two, then five…

Honestly, if I’d said I’d be sober for 9 years in the beginning, it would’ve seriously freaked me out. 

I had no clue what that could even look like for me (or for anyone!).

Instead, I focused on taking better care of myself and learning new skills and strategies for navigating all the ups and downs of life. I focused on what I could gain by living alcohol-free, rather than what I believed I’d be missing out on. 

I focused on really getting to know myself again and building a deep level of trust and self-worth.

Each step helped me to amass a wealth of evidence that I could do hard things and prevail – that I was capable of so much more than I’d ever believed possible.

Because, ultimately, that’s what we’re all here for: to experience deeper love and understanding with everyone in our lives, but most especially – and starting with – ourselves.

You are limitless. Go ahead and try, angel. I wish you everything you dream of and more.

Want More?

Throughout my early days of my sobriety, I wrote several articles sharing what I’d learnt. I hope they help you too:

:: 2014 with the decision that started it all:  100 Days Without a Drink.

:: 2015 for MindBodyGreen:  One Year Sober: How Life Has Changed.

:: 2016 for The Huffington Post:  Is It Worth It? Reflections from Two Years of Sobriety.

P.S. How about you? What were your biggest fears before you stopped drinking? What would you tell yourself about early sobriety?  Come share with me on Facebook or Instagram!

If you need some help to go deeper into your sobriety mindset, I have a ton of resources for you!

Start by watching a free special screening of one of our most popular coaching videos – Why Sobriety vs. Moderation.

Ooh, we dive deep into all the big topics in this one: identifying triggers, conquering cravings, overcoming self-sabotage, the benefits of ‘moving the goalpost’, and my thoughts on the concept of ‘forever’. Enter your email below for free instant access!

I was nineteen years old when my boyfriend casually told me about a conversation he’d just had with a friend.

“And then Leo said Valentina’s so much smaller than his ex. And I said ‘she’s petite’ and he said, yeah man, my girlfriend’s petite and I love it.”

My boyfriend chuckled to himself at his brilliance. I’d just picked him up from a city bar where they’d been drinking together for a few hours, and you could tell.

“Oh?” I said, vaguely curious about what guys talked about when they were alone together, and particularly curious about whether or not my name had come up. “And what did you say?”

“I said my girlfriend’s voluptuous.” Grinning to himself, he started jabbering away about something else while my mind cranked into overdrive.

Valentina was one of my best friends. She was gorgeous and delicate and tiny, in direct contrast to my height. At five foot seven (and a half!) in flats, I was always so much taller than other girls, and I hated it.

I didn’t want to be tall OR voluptuous. It didn’t occur to me for a second that this might be a good thing. It was the mid-90’s and Kate Moss and the ‘heroin chic’ waif look had well and truly descended. Monica and Rachel were already beginning to jostle for pole position as the thinnest Friends character, and every magazine screamed about The Zone, Atkins, and South Beach diets.

I didn’t know much, but I knew thin was good and fat was bad. I wanted to be petite too!

Translation in my subconscious? If I was thinner, people would love me more.

So I did what, sadly, so many teenage girls do: I stopped eating. I might never be petite as far as height, but I could damn well be petite in body size if only I applied myself.

Needless to say, the next few years were torture. I started keeping a food diary and made challenges with myself to reduce the number of entries each day. Dizzy spells and almost fainting at work in the mornings became a regular occurrence as I delayed eating for as long as I could.

I lived with my boyfriend and two other flatmates at the time. Our bathroom scales lived in a third, spare bedroom, and every morning when I woke up, I tip-toed down the hallway to weigh myself.

Often I closed my eyes and held my breath as I waited for the display to light up. If the number was lower than the previous day, hallelujah!, I was in a great mood.

If it was even a single gram higher, I was a mess, unable to think clearly about anything else.

As the weeks turned into months and I started receiving compliments from people about how slim I was looking, I became even stricter with myself. I cut out pictures of models from magazines and posted them in my diary as constant motivation and looked at them whenever I felt hungry.

I also pinned these pictures up across one entire wall of the spare bedroom (where the scales lived), as ‘motivation’.

Looking back now, I’m surprised my flatmates didn’t have me committed for my serial-killer-style ‘wall of death’, although no doubt they were either too smart or too scared to mess with me.

I was moody, irrational, emotional, and completely obsessed.

By the time my body mass index (BMI) dropped to an unhealthy and dangerous seventeen, my boyfriend had had enough. He tried to talk sense into me but I’d started to feel a sick sort of power over myself. I mean, if I controlled my weight, I controlled my life (and my fears), right?

Meanwhile, ironically, my ‘life’ was also losing weight. I avoided eating out with friends or family because, well, that involved food. Activities I’d previously enjoyed became tainted by my anxiety around food, and friends pulled away as I became increasingly exhausted and snippy.

Sadly this went on until I was a nervous wreck. Even the smallest thing would cause me to burst into tears. It was affecting my relationships, my work, my study, and my sanity.

I was thin, but at what cost?

When I no longer had the energy or willpower to starve myself, my BMI shot up to 22. Not excessive, by any means, but very upsetting to a girl who had hinged her self-esteem on her jeans size.

In desperation, I turned to diet shakes. Completely unaware that the toxic, artificial contents of the shakes mixed with lactose-containing milk that my body can’t handle, were actually causing me to GAIN, not lose, fat, my BMI continued to rise to a very plump and devastating 26.

Believe me, I wasn’t laughing on the inside.

Over the next decade I yo-yo’d through various diets, shakes, frozen meals, pills and other nonsense, never understanding why the weight loss wasn’t sustainable. My overall health deteriorated, my skin suffered with chronic eczema break-outs of epic proportions, and all the mental grief over my perceived failures seriously affected my sparkle!

So much time, youth and energy wasted fighting a never-ending battle it seemed I could never win.

My time in diet hell wouldn’t begin to come to an end until many years later. On October 1st 2011 I chose to follow a plant-based lifestyle and everything began to shift.

No longer wanting to eat frozen ‘diet’ dinners or traditional processed foods laced with animal derivatives, I began teaching myself to cook and educating myself about proper nutrition. I relaxed, experimented more, and began to love the way healthy, wholesome food made me feel.

Slowly but surely, day by day, my mind and body began to change.

Thirsty for knowledge, I made another one of the best decisions of my life and enrolled to study at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and began to understand more about the psychology of eating and creating a nurturing lifestyle.

Finally I began to focus on the good, the happy, the healthy, and the nourishing, and whaddya know… the excess weight melted away – in its place, a new and peaceful serenity and appreciation for all the beauty and joy in the world – and a whole new relationship with my body.

It was this life experience that inspired me to resign from my corporate career as a Cost Engineer for a global energy company, and pursue a new path as a Health Coach. And it was this journey that made my work helping other brave-hearted souls with their wellbeing goals so deeply fulfilling.

The Sparkle Project is a 6-week lifestyle transformation program based on these very principles.

Over the past ten years, this magical challenge has helped thousands to transform their wellbeing, sky-rocket their energy levels,  and fall in love with life again. ✨

And now? Dom and I have given this entire program a 2023 glow-up on our shiny new platform!

Click here to learn more and receive instant access.

Wishing you a whole new level of self-love, radiance and vitality!

As I shared with you in previous blog post: 3 Ways to Deal with Disappointment in Sobriety, I was recently excited to visit Queensland after falling in love with a colleague’s branding photos.

Dom and I had been working hard behind-the-scenes on a fun new project that required some new snaps, and since my colleague’s talented photographer had a style that matched so perfectly, I jumped at the chance to book our shoot too.

What I failed to mention previously is that my colleague has a very different style to me. While she’s Australian and loves the beach (like me), she’s blonde, with much fairer skin, and loves a much more relaxed, boho style, complete with bare feet, white denim, and kaftans.

It’s a style that suits her perfectly, and she looked so beautiful in her photos that naturally, I wanted that too!

A week or so before we were due to fly, I had a Zoom meeting with our Queensland photographer.

“It’s best to bring three outfits per hour of shooting,” she advised.

“Okay,” I said, mentally doing the sums in my head. Our shoot was planned to run for four hours, so that meant… twelve outfits. Yikes!

Before we go any further into this story, I should point out that, just like so many other people on the planet, I was not immune to the pandemic pounds. I’d gained so many extra curves, in fact, that my pre-2020 outfits no longer fit me. Which meant I’d need twelve entirely new outfits.

This sounds like it should be fun, right? I mean, I love clothes as much as the next woman. But between my new, rather unfamiliar lumps and bumps, a limited clothing budget, and the clock ticking down to our departure flight, I grew increasingly stressed with each passing day.

One day, in amidst this chaos, I was having lunch with Dom at a mall when he suggested: “Why don’t we go back and get that green dress?”

I pulled a face. “Because it needs to be a light colour, remember?”

The photographer had wisely reminded me that pale, pastel or muted tones worked best for creating a classic, timeless look, and when I viewed her portfolio, I had to agree. It was a palette she truly excelled in: light, airy and dreamy whites, beiges and pastels.

On the flip side, on the rare occasions her clients wore a bold colour, the colour tended to completely swallow the image.

The thing is… as much as I love pale colours in theory, the truth is, I don’t always love to wear them. Of course I love clothes that look classy and timeless. I know subtle tones are a lot more… well, subtle.

But the thing I love even more? Colour! Bright, bold, fun, vibrant colour.

Dom sighed in a way that made me feel like he was about to deliver a truth bomb, and I braced myself.

Giving me the look, he said: “I feel like there’s a lot of ‘making yourself smaller’ for this photoshoot.”

And there it was. The woman who had literally written the book on inner confidence and embracing who you truly are, in Chameleon, had all but forgotten her own advice:

Be more YOU.

My colleague’s photos were so beautiful and special, precisely because they captured more of who SHE is. They highlighted the best in her and showed off her gorgeous light.

They couldn’t necessarily do the same for me because, for one thing, I’m not her. I’m ME. Dark haired, olive skinned, colour-loving me.

Since I couldn’t quite bring myself to pull the pin on a trip I’d already worked so hard on, The Universe took matters into its own hands. Dom caught Omicron, then passed it onto me, and all of our travel dreams went up in isolation smoke (for the third time! ugh!).

When the dust settled and we finally started to feel better, I began to form a new idea of what these photos could be. Not based on my colleague’s look and business, but my very own vision.  

With nervous excitement, I began to research photographers in my home city – and wouldn’t you know it… somehow stumbled across a photographer just as talented.

Her portfolio was beautiful, and filled with a vast palette of colour, and when we jumped on a Zoom call together, it felt like it was always meant to be.

At last, I’m ready to let my freak flag fly and embrace outfits that really speak to my soul. I’m ready to create a vision that feels 100% authentic. I feel safe to be more me.

*big exhale*

I’ll leave you with this quote from Chameleon:

Forget what everyone else is doing. This lane – this life – is for you. It’s yours. You’re far too unique to be compared to anyone else.

You are YOU and that is your superpower. Give yourself the time, space, and energy to really get to know yourself again. Grant yourself that gift.

You are worthy of everything you dream of, and everything you want to try and experience in this life.

You are enough, exactly as you are.

Read more about the importance of self-care in Chameleon – a book about the danger of giving our power away to others, the magic of finding our way back to ourselves, and how each of us can begin to build a deep and unshakeable confidence.

Chameleon is available from online bookstores and retailers worldwide, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Target US, Book Depository (with free worldwide shipping!), and independents.

Scroll down and enter your email below to read Chapter One, free!

The bar was jumping when I arrived.  It was a Thursday night and just Day 20 of my initial ‘sobriety experiment’.

I spotted my former team mates standing around one of the long bar tables near the back, and wished I felt less nervous.

The old Bex would have been counting down the minutes until this little shindig started.  The new Bex was worried.  Everyone had always known me as the girl with the champagne glass in her hand.  What the hell was I going to say to everyone?

Christopher noticed me first and waved me over, and I hugged everyone hello.

As concerned as I was that I might pass out when the bartender asked, “What’ll it be?”, I managed to keep it together.

As I slurped my first sip of sparkling water with fresh lime, I began to relax a little and the conversation flowed into other topics.  Before long, to my utter surprise and delight, I found myself howling with laughter and forgetting all about my self consciousness.

My old work friends were so entertaining, and the mood so jovial, that despite my intentions of leaving after two short hours, I stayed for four.

It was only 9pm as I finally made my move, but for the first time in my life, I knew when to call it a night.

As I walked out into the cool night air, I called Dom.

“How was it?” he asked, picking up on the first ring.

“Oh my goodness, I did it!  And it was so much fun!” I laughed, delighted to discover that I, Rebecca Weller, could finally socialise sober.

I was still grinning the entire way home.  The feeling was so delicious: a heavenly mix of elation, authenticity, self-assurance, and pride in myself for once.  I wanted to bottle it and hold on to it forever.

Boy, was this feeling an incredible revelation to the woman who’d always firmly believed that alcohol equalled fun and connection.

It was such a turning point.  It provided vital evidence to combat The Beast in my head that spouted nonsense like:

“Can’t you just moderate?  This is nuts!  You don’t have to go to such extremes!  Everyone drinks!  You’ll never be invited anywhere.  You’ll be dull and boring and sit at home, crying into your cornflakes, while everyone else carries on with their romantic, glamorous, wonderful lives.” 

I’m often asked if I ever relapsed throughout my journey.  The truth is, I tried and failed to moderate for more than twenty years.

Deep down, I knew that freedom would never come from trying to moderate.

Because it was a slippery slope of bad decisions.  If I could justify drinking at a wedding, why not a birthday?  And if I could justify drinking on Friday and Saturday, Sunday wouldn’t be far behind.

Nope, true freedom would only come from never wanting to drink that poison again.

But how to go about that?  How to create a life – and a relationship with myself – that was so complete and fulfilling, I didn’t need alcohol anymore?

That was the question that mattered.  That was the question that began to change everything.

This is precisely the question that drove my desire to continue practicing socialising alcohol-free: to experiment with what works and what doesn’t.

To find new ways to connect with friends and family.  New ways to relax, celebrate, and spend time together, that ensured I always walked away with that same scrumptious feeling of elation, authenticity, self-assurance, and pride in myself.

Savvy strategies, tactics, and mindset shifts to reinforce my journey and protect me (as much as possible) from slipping back into my old patterns and habits.

Techniques, tools, and deep journal questions I can’t wait to share with you inside RSVP Sober: Your Guided Journal for Socialising Alcohol-Free, starting with 8 event-ready modules to help you completely reimagine your social life, and embrace more freedom and joy.

Click here to order your very own copy.

Here’s to a whole new world of unshakeable confidence! ????

The year was 2013. Just a few short months earlier, I’d resigned from my corporate career to follow my passions and pursue a new path as a Health Coach.

I’d loved the challenge and every minute of my work so far with my coaching clients, and I wanted to make a gift for them and the readers of my blog; something to help them get started on their wellness journey. Brainstorming my little heart out, I created a free 10-day mini-course called The Sparkle Experiment.

As I helped dozens (and then hundreds!) of brave-hearted souls to thrive from the concepts in this mini course, it didn’t take long for me to realise that so many of them longed to go deeper.

Over the next few weeks, I got to work once again, creating an expanded and advanced 6-week lifestyle transformation program – a program that would quickly become my signature course. 

With my background in project management as a means to obtain a goal, I named it: The Sparkle Project. ✨

On the surface?  It was about eating wholesome food, losing weight, and having more energy.

But really?  It was a complete 180. A mind and body make-over. Getting your glow on, from the inside out.

Using every tool and resource I’d learnt in my health coaching studies and everything that had helped me in my own journey, I designed this program from the ground up for women who were tired of tired of trying to navigate it all on their own – women who craved loving support and guidance to launch them into healthier habits. 

Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that diets don’t work.

Ohhh, I’ve been there, baby. This was me a few years ago – trapped in a never-ending cycle of dieting, guilt, and hating my body.

I suffered from anxiety, insomnia, chronic eczema, painful digestion, mood swings, and low energy. I had a dysfunctional relationship with food that not only wrecked my energy but controlled my life. 

Then I (finally!) figured out the key that changed everything.

Because, as it turns out, being healthy and feeling vibrant doesn’t have to be hard work (I promise!).

You don’t have to be a Yoga Teacher to feel incredible at any age.

You don’t have to live a life of deprivation just to feel good in your skinny jeans.

And you don’t have to spend the rest of your life counting calories or dragging yourself to the gym.

You can absolutely love your lifestyle, your body, and your food today. 

Grab your bathroom scales and get ready to throw them out the window.

The new and improved Sparkle Project is HERE and we couldn’t be more excited!

Over the past ten years, this magical program has helped thousands of beautiful souls to do deeper into their wellness journey, sky-rocket their energy levels, get their sparkle back, and fall in love with life again.

And because I truly believe we don’t make lasting lifestyle changes unless it’s enjoyable, this program is also a whole heap of fun!

We’re well aware that a 6-week lifestyle transformation program like this is usually priced at around $297 or more (and worth every penny for the metamorphosis they deliver). That’s why we’re deeply proud to bring you The Sparkle Project for just $97. 

Best of all? Dom and I have given the entire program a 2023 glow-up on our shiny new platform, and the reimagined version is ready for you!

Click here to learn more and get started.

Here’s to a whole new world of radiance and vitality!

P.S.  I’m seriously so excited for you to dive in! If you choose to join us, thank you so much for supporting a small business. We love helping people and supporting you to make your dreams come true!

Not quite ready to dive in that deep yet? No problem, ladylove. The 10-Day Sparkle Experiment is completely free and yours to enjoy.

Wishing you a month filled with soulful experimentation!